Tuesday, October 4, 2011

I Hate Being Right

I hate it. Hate being right.

I spoke with Gumball's dad. He said he would sign the divorce papers if I answered his call. So I did. And now I am sad. And sick. Its hard knowing that your soulmate exists, and that he loves you, and wishes you were still together. And that the little fragment of a person who loves you is completely submerged in another person. A crazy, hateful person, who promises nothing but pain, lies and misery.

Maybe someday, when he and I are super old, we could be friends. I miss him. Hearing his voice felt great. Jesus, I miss him. But the truth, that I shared with him, is that I will never let him back into my life again. My daughter will never have her dad walk out on her. He only offers misery and pain. I told him that I hope he works on his current relationship, takes care of his kids, and finds peace and happiness.

I'd like to find some peace and happiness too.

5 comments:

  1. Ugh. That sounds just awful, and it sounds like you handled it well. But... ugh!

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  2. Jemima - you are one tough cookie! Even if you are the only person who doesn't know this to be true - it is true. You impress me with your strength.

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  3. Thanks, you guys. S, I don't know if there is a good way to handle it. I'm pretty much damned either way. You're right, MV, I do not feel strong at all.

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  4. Big hugs, J. Strength isn't really about how you feel... or I guess it is. But it's more so about what you accomplish despite those feelings. Like courage.

    (Totally off topic, but I just had that kale salad again. It was massive and I want more... grr... it's all gone.)

    Sending you love.

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  5. Kale salad!!!! Shan, are we the only 2 people who realize it's the best thing ever?

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