I am behind. Christmas threw me for a loop, with the incessant singing of Christmas carols and making merry. I was overjoyed to be celebrating with my loved ones, thrilled to have a full house, and feeling the giddy, euphoric, terrifying stirrings of real, true, deep... "romantic feelings."
(Please note: not love. Romantic feelings. NOT love. I refuse to allow myself to go that far. But... romantic feelings that I could not repress, that were spilling out of my mouth, and seeping from my pores.)
Two weeks ago, I thought about writing about how happy I was. Gumball has been incredibly sweet, and delightful. Funny, precious, charming, and kind of insane. My romance was going really well. I felt special, valued, and brimming over with feelings.
Since then, he's become distant. No explanation.
There's no more bubbling euphoria.
I'll give this gentle, passionate, humble, but masterful man some time to get his head out of his ass. It's hard to wait, not knowing if he's just done with me, or if he's dealing with his own issues and needs time. I'm just feeling a little sad, and deflated. Am I always going to be alone?
To end on a positive note, I've now lost 16 pounds since starting my diet. My goal is to lose 25 more, and exchange the label "obese" for simply "large."
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Monday, December 26, 2011
Poop
How many times can my child poop in order to interrupt sleep? In one day, I mean.
Just guess.
No, really. I mean it. Guess.
FOUR. 4. Yes, FOUR times. Plus, one non-sleep associated poop. WTH child? Hmmm...
In other news, Gumball loves prime rib. Christmas? Not so much. She likes opening her new tool box, and removing the tools, and then placing them directly where I might step. She also really enjoys rolling her new shopping cart around. Other than that- she hates her new babydolls, and other new gifts. So much so, that she's become reinvested in previously ignored birthday gifts. Gifts that she's played with twice in the past four months. She also really, really likes placing her shoes onto her toes. Just sort of propping them up. Ridiculous. Love her so much.
Just guess.
No, really. I mean it. Guess.
FOUR. 4. Yes, FOUR times. Plus, one non-sleep associated poop. WTH child? Hmmm...
In other news, Gumball loves prime rib. Christmas? Not so much. She likes opening her new tool box, and removing the tools, and then placing them directly where I might step. She also really enjoys rolling her new shopping cart around. Other than that- she hates her new babydolls, and other new gifts. So much so, that she's become reinvested in previously ignored birthday gifts. Gifts that she's played with twice in the past four months. She also really, really likes placing her shoes onto her toes. Just sort of propping them up. Ridiculous. Love her so much.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
'Tis the Season
I just made two more batches of this:
OMGOMG YUM YUM YUM!
(Shan, please take note. So delicious, so easy.)
Things have been decent. Gumball has been talking up a storm. Some words are perfectly clear. Like: meat, juice, milk, duck, baby, Elmo. And some words are close enough: like Eeep (sheep). Now she also says: "nurt." Any guesses what that means?
I'll give you a clue. When I told my mom that Gumball was saying this, she said, "well, now it's probably time to stop."
That's right. Gumball is saying "nurse." In January, we're going to go down to one nursing session a day. I'm sad about this. Sad, but ready to get back on medicine.
In January, I'm also going to bite the bullet and put up a dating profile on Match.com. Okcupid in Vermont? Not so great. Granted, I am writing one woman who I find quite intriguing. I have a feeling that she's put me into the dreaded friend zone. Still, I continue to write her, and will meet her when she's ready. Other than her, however, and perhaps including her, it seems like all the people I've communicated with are totally fucked up. I'm no prize, I suppose. Except I am! I still miss Gumball's dad, but I've been single for 15 months, and am open, and honest, and still have something left to give. Right? It seems like the broken, twisted, pathetic people I've "met" online are just careening from one hurt to another relationship. I write people, and they write back. We exchange lighthearted messages, and get to know each other, and then they disappear. My feelings get hurt. I'm tired of this.
So, yes, dating. I hope to do it in 2012. And nursing. I hope to stop before the baby can spell nurse.
In other news, it's almost Christmas. Nana, Gumball, Little Dada, and I went to see Santa this afternoon. Gumball wasn't having it. She hated that old man in a red suit as soon as she saw him. I'm glad we got the annual photo though. And I have to admit that I find photos of crying babies with Santa to be quite hilarious and at the same time, charming.
Here are our last year's photos, for those interested. My sweet, tiny, baby Gumball:
Merry Christmas everyone.
OMGOMG YUM YUM YUM!
(Shan, please take note. So delicious, so easy.)
Things have been decent. Gumball has been talking up a storm. Some words are perfectly clear. Like: meat, juice, milk, duck, baby, Elmo. And some words are close enough: like Eeep (sheep). Now she also says: "nurt." Any guesses what that means?
I'll give you a clue. When I told my mom that Gumball was saying this, she said, "well, now it's probably time to stop."
That's right. Gumball is saying "nurse." In January, we're going to go down to one nursing session a day. I'm sad about this. Sad, but ready to get back on medicine.
In January, I'm also going to bite the bullet and put up a dating profile on Match.com. Okcupid in Vermont? Not so great. Granted, I am writing one woman who I find quite intriguing. I have a feeling that she's put me into the dreaded friend zone. Still, I continue to write her, and will meet her when she's ready. Other than her, however, and perhaps including her, it seems like all the people I've communicated with are totally fucked up. I'm no prize, I suppose. Except I am! I still miss Gumball's dad, but I've been single for 15 months, and am open, and honest, and still have something left to give. Right? It seems like the broken, twisted, pathetic people I've "met" online are just careening from one hurt to another relationship. I write people, and they write back. We exchange lighthearted messages, and get to know each other, and then they disappear. My feelings get hurt. I'm tired of this.
So, yes, dating. I hope to do it in 2012. And nursing. I hope to stop before the baby can spell nurse.
In other news, it's almost Christmas. Nana, Gumball, Little Dada, and I went to see Santa this afternoon. Gumball wasn't having it. She hated that old man in a red suit as soon as she saw him. I'm glad we got the annual photo though. And I have to admit that I find photos of crying babies with Santa to be quite hilarious and at the same time, charming.
Here are our last year's photos, for those interested. My sweet, tiny, baby Gumball:
Merry Christmas everyone.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Namas... What?
I've been a bad, bad blogger. Dude, Christmas is a lot of work. And I had a birthday.
Something funny happened last night. In Zumba. My lovely, thoughtful new friend A turned to me in the middle of an excruciating dance routine, and said, "namaste." Or that's what I thought I heard. And I was confused. My friends and I? We're not really the "namaste" sort of people. Even my three friends who teach yoga. We're more the "hey, what's up?" type of people. Or maybe the "pass me a slice of pizza" sorts. Anyhow, I lean in towards A, and say, "WHAT? Did you just say namaste?" And she said, "no. I said 'is class almost over?'" I still chuckle when I think about it.
So yeah. Like I said, I've been very busy. In part, because Gumball's nanny took a week off. Not for fun. She had car problems. But it's always hard to be without help in the evenings. We've also transitioned from two daily naps to one. Gumball was on a decent two-nap schedule, but little by little, each nap kept getting shorter and shorter. Two 45-minute naps a day were driving me nuts. These days, we are aiming for one 90-120 minute nap, in the middle of the day. I know this stuff is fascinating. Being a parent is hard. I agonized over this decision, and just want to do what is best for little Gumball. But there's no clear, black and white manual of how to raise baby, or how to maximize sleep, and naps, and to make sure she's always happy and successful. It's a lot of pressure.
In the past two weeks, I've done a lot, not just counting changing Gumball's nap schedule. I also got some help from Nana, and picked up a Christmas tree.
This year's tree theme: pink and silver. Yup. No men in this house.
It's also cold, finally. I'm not thrilled about the cold, but I also get to see this. Not sideways. Hmmm.
And here are some other photos I recently uploaded.
As I mentioned before, I also had a birthday. I didn't manage to have a date before this birthday, which made me a little sad, but the birthday itself was so much more than I had hoped. The day of my birthday, I got my hair cut and colored. No more zebra stripes! Yay! And Nana watched Gumball, so she had fun too. I even got to go to the grocery store alone. It doesn't sound like much, but the cards, calls, texts (ugh, except for the one from Gumball's dad) made me really happy. And the 80-something messages and wall posts from friends on Facebook- made my day. And on Friday, all my new friends got together and threw me a birthday lunch party. We had lots of kids running around, lots of food, and it was amazing. It really meant a lot to me, and will hopefully mark the start of a year filled with happiness, peace and love. I am very grateful for these friends.
Something funny happened last night. In Zumba. My lovely, thoughtful new friend A turned to me in the middle of an excruciating dance routine, and said, "namaste." Or that's what I thought I heard. And I was confused. My friends and I? We're not really the "namaste" sort of people. Even my three friends who teach yoga. We're more the "hey, what's up?" type of people. Or maybe the "pass me a slice of pizza" sorts. Anyhow, I lean in towards A, and say, "WHAT? Did you just say namaste?" And she said, "no. I said 'is class almost over?'" I still chuckle when I think about it.
So yeah. Like I said, I've been very busy. In part, because Gumball's nanny took a week off. Not for fun. She had car problems. But it's always hard to be without help in the evenings. We've also transitioned from two daily naps to one. Gumball was on a decent two-nap schedule, but little by little, each nap kept getting shorter and shorter. Two 45-minute naps a day were driving me nuts. These days, we are aiming for one 90-120 minute nap, in the middle of the day. I know this stuff is fascinating. Being a parent is hard. I agonized over this decision, and just want to do what is best for little Gumball. But there's no clear, black and white manual of how to raise baby, or how to maximize sleep, and naps, and to make sure she's always happy and successful. It's a lot of pressure.
In the past two weeks, I've done a lot, not just counting changing Gumball's nap schedule. I also got some help from Nana, and picked up a Christmas tree.
It's also cold, finally. I'm not thrilled about the cold, but I also get to see this. Not sideways. Hmmm.
And here are some other photos I recently uploaded.
 |
| Gumball Hippo |
 |
| First Art Project |
 |
| Second Art Project- I didn't even help! |
 |
| With Big Duck |
 |
| Measuring the size of her own head |
 |
| Christmas Photo: Attempt 200000000000000 |
As I mentioned before, I also had a birthday. I didn't manage to have a date before this birthday, which made me a little sad, but the birthday itself was so much more than I had hoped. The day of my birthday, I got my hair cut and colored. No more zebra stripes! Yay! And Nana watched Gumball, so she had fun too. I even got to go to the grocery store alone. It doesn't sound like much, but the cards, calls, texts (ugh, except for the one from Gumball's dad) made me really happy. And the 80-something messages and wall posts from friends on Facebook- made my day. And on Friday, all my new friends got together and threw me a birthday lunch party. We had lots of kids running around, lots of food, and it was amazing. It really meant a lot to me, and will hopefully mark the start of a year filled with happiness, peace and love. I am very grateful for these friends.
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