Le Sigh

38 has been a wonderful age so far. I feel blessed, beyond measure. My friends, family, Gumball- are all wonderful. Perfect. I don't need anything else.

But... I don't want to jinx myself, or rush anything, or do any of the other foolish activities that I tend to partake in, but it's true. I have feelings for someone. He doesn't need me to protect him, take care of him, or, in fact, do anything for him. Which makes me want to do things for him. I want to cuddle the heck out of him! He's thoughtful, sweet, and fair, and his intelligence, experience, self-control, and toughness keep me on my toes. Sigh. I am trying hard to not mess this up, or to lose myself in feelings. We've been seeing each other usually twice a week, for over a month now, and OMG. Feelings! I am full of them!

(Must remember to be authentically myself and to take this slowly. Also- MUST remember that actions and words must be weighed carefully.)

Halloween and Then Some

First and foremost, I will start this entry by recounting the weeks of festivities surrounding Halloween. And I thought college students made the most of the holiday. Well, Oberlin College students do, at least. Yeah, well, they have nothing going on compared to babies.

Gumball and I, and two mom friends and their four (combined) kids went trick or treating eight days before Halloween. It was fun. I really enjoy these women. Not so fond of my pants. Dear god, do I really look this awful?

Continuing the fanfare, I accidentally celebrated Halloween several days early at playgroup. I'm not naming names, but someone (AHEM!) told me that everyone would be dressing up. So I dutifully stuffed Gumball into her duck costume. Again. And went to playgroup, where she was the only one in costume. Awesome. At least SHE is too young to be embarrassed.

Gumball had two outfits to wear on Halloween day. A daytime tutu and shirt. 

And, you know. The damn duck costume. For night. Again. At night, she also had her friend Kitty with her. And Little Dada, her babydoll. I was pleasantly surprised by how much the kids enjoyed trick or treating. We only went to four or five houses, but Gumball (Duck) and Kitty were smiling and chatting the entire time. I was certain she'd scream and cry, but I lucked out.

 Since I'm sharing photos, I'll share my favorite from my lovely friend C's visit. Last time I saw C, about two years ago, she was engaged. At this visit, I got to meet her charming and thoughtful husband, and their adorable baby. Gumball was a little obsessed with the baby. She basically spent the entire visit staring at him, and rocking him, while he was in the baby rocker. Later on, she enjoyed "being the baby" and rocking in the rocker. What a ham!

Other recent fun events involved a trip to Walmart. It was fun because they have double carts. And the kids didn't mess with each other at all.

 

 I'm doing well. I've received a few texts from Gumball's dad, but even though I miss him, I'm just not able to trust him. He doesn't understand how I can miss and love him, but be completely unwilling to take him back. He must have a piece missing. More to the point, these days, I'm trying to pay more attention to actions. Actions over words. And I really have moved on. Want to know how much I've moved on?

That's right. I joined a dating site.

It's true.

I don't feel like I want anything fast or serious, but I have been exchanging messages with three very interesting people. I may have even suggested a date with one of them.

Back to my goal of having a date while I'm still 36. Seems like it may actually come true.