Tonight, when I was getting Gumball ready for bed, she asked me for baby's brush. I looked, but couldn't find it. So I asked her, "how about Lila's comb?" as I handed it to her. She looked at it thoughtfully, handed it back, and said, "how about baby's brush?" With attitude.
Things have been good. I've been cooking, eating well, and enjoying myself.
One thing hasn't been so good though. After the terrifically fun date, and a nice conversation the following day, I haven't heard back from my date. Wednesday will be a week. It's Monday now. I am trying to be patient, but I really want him to call. I'm a bit disappointed about this. We had good chemistry, I thought. Maybe I have no idea what good chemistry is anymore.
In other news, it seems that although my divorce and Gumball's name change (from his last name to mine) are official, getting paperwork certifying this is turning into quite the challenge. Can't this part of my life be done already?
Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts
Monday, April 2, 2012
Saturday, October 1, 2011
What a Difference a Day (or 2) Make
I had bacon and eggs for dinner, and may have a glass of wine, or a beer, for dessert.
Got _yet another_ text message from R last night:
I don't want to divorce you.
I spent the night tossing and turning (apparently so did little Rat, bc she woke up twice). I was sad. I felt lonely and awful, and missed R so badly. I didn't respond to his text. Then I spoke with my mom, and she felt that the least inciting response would be to ask him to please sign the paperwork. I agreed. So I wrote him, "will you please just sign and return the paperwork."
To which he responded:
I'm going to have a lawyer look it over first. I don't think it's quite fair.
I am spitting mad. The case has already been to court. The divorce is costing me A LOT of money. $5,000 so far. And I'm pretty certain it's going to be at least twice that. And NOW, NOW, he wants to get a lawyer? NOW he asserts that the settlement WE agreed on isn't fair?
Seriously?
Seriously.
I think he is going to try to get money from me, somehow. We weren't married long enough for him to qualify for anything. But, my fear, my absolute terror, is that he will try to leverage visitation with my sweet little Gumball. I hope, for her sake, that she has a loving and supportive relationship with her dad. I hope he wouldn't try to take her just to get money from me. I am really scared, and very, very angry. Not quite angry enough to share his messages with his friends, family, and most importantly, that whore he lives with, but close.
Got _yet another_ text message from R last night:
I don't want to divorce you.
I spent the night tossing and turning (apparently so did little Rat, bc she woke up twice). I was sad. I felt lonely and awful, and missed R so badly. I didn't respond to his text. Then I spoke with my mom, and she felt that the least inciting response would be to ask him to please sign the paperwork. I agreed. So I wrote him, "will you please just sign and return the paperwork."
To which he responded:
I'm going to have a lawyer look it over first. I don't think it's quite fair.
I am spitting mad. The case has already been to court. The divorce is costing me A LOT of money. $5,000 so far. And I'm pretty certain it's going to be at least twice that. And NOW, NOW, he wants to get a lawyer? NOW he asserts that the settlement WE agreed on isn't fair?
Seriously?
Seriously.
I think he is going to try to get money from me, somehow. We weren't married long enough for him to qualify for anything. But, my fear, my absolute terror, is that he will try to leverage visitation with my sweet little Gumball. I hope, for her sake, that she has a loving and supportive relationship with her dad. I hope he wouldn't try to take her just to get money from me. I am really scared, and very, very angry. Not quite angry enough to share his messages with his friends, family, and most importantly, that whore he lives with, but close.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Updates: Zumba and Divorce
I had my first Zumba class last night. I texted a high school friend of mine to tell her that I was going to go to this class, and she replied that she loves "Zhumba." I found the added "h" so annoying I had to put the phone down. Forcefully. So if I am spelling it wrong, please do not tell me. I don't care.
Zumba was HARD! I invited my new friend A to join the class with me. A and I met online- through BabyCenter Community. It's true, I meet strangers off the internet. Rogue moms. A is awesome, and I really enjoy her company. It's so nice to meet someone I enjoy this much. I just _wish_ I could explain how I am single without tearing up. She's kind though, and looked away, then pretended not to have seen anything.
A's daughter is 3 or 4 days older than Gumball. And we're doing baby swim class together. And Zumba. We laughed so much my stomach still hurts. I probably laughed more last night that I had in a year. I am out of practice. And speaking of out of practice... I used to go out dancing every night I could. All night. To merengue and salsa. I loved dancing. In Zumba class, I could barely pant my way through one song. After 20 minutes, I thought I was going to drop dead. By 45 minutes, I was staggering, and covered in sweat. I am so scared about class tomorrow. That said, it felt wonderful to do something just for myself, and to laugh. I hope I don't have to miss too many classes. I am not the fattest or most out of shape person there, but close.
In other news, apparently being married to me is such a wonderful thing that R just can't seem to sign the goddamn divorce papers. My lawyer has sent him the paperwork to be signed 2 times. (Ca-ching, ca-ching.) And called him a dozen times (at $50/per call. Thanks, asshole.) I don't even know what will happen if he won't sign the papers. I just want this to be over. I may just have to send him another text message, and beg him to please just sign the papers. I have no idea why he won't just sign the damn things, and let me go in peace.
Gumball has been amazing. Today she said "baby" instead of "dada" (once) and said "neck" while pointing to her neck, and also said "monk" totally unprompted when there was a picture of a monkey in our book. She's so much fun these days. I just love her so much. Maybe that's obvious, or verboten, but damn, this little person makes every second of suffering seem like nothing. She is amazing and sweet and sensitive.
Zumba was HARD! I invited my new friend A to join the class with me. A and I met online- through BabyCenter Community. It's true, I meet strangers off the internet. Rogue moms. A is awesome, and I really enjoy her company. It's so nice to meet someone I enjoy this much. I just _wish_ I could explain how I am single without tearing up. She's kind though, and looked away, then pretended not to have seen anything.
A's daughter is 3 or 4 days older than Gumball. And we're doing baby swim class together. And Zumba. We laughed so much my stomach still hurts. I probably laughed more last night that I had in a year. I am out of practice. And speaking of out of practice... I used to go out dancing every night I could. All night. To merengue and salsa. I loved dancing. In Zumba class, I could barely pant my way through one song. After 20 minutes, I thought I was going to drop dead. By 45 minutes, I was staggering, and covered in sweat. I am so scared about class tomorrow. That said, it felt wonderful to do something just for myself, and to laugh. I hope I don't have to miss too many classes. I am not the fattest or most out of shape person there, but close.
In other news, apparently being married to me is such a wonderful thing that R just can't seem to sign the goddamn divorce papers. My lawyer has sent him the paperwork to be signed 2 times. (Ca-ching, ca-ching.) And called him a dozen times (at $50/per call. Thanks, asshole.) I don't even know what will happen if he won't sign the papers. I just want this to be over. I may just have to send him another text message, and beg him to please just sign the papers. I have no idea why he won't just sign the damn things, and let me go in peace.
Gumball has been amazing. Today she said "baby" instead of "dada" (once) and said "neck" while pointing to her neck, and also said "monk" totally unprompted when there was a picture of a monkey in our book. She's so much fun these days. I just love her so much. Maybe that's obvious, or verboten, but damn, this little person makes every second of suffering seem like nothing. She is amazing and sweet and sensitive.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Divorce, Part Two
It took two days, but I finally spoke with my lawyer. She's funny. The first time I got divorced (yes, I'm *that* person) she came to court gushing blood from a wound on her leg. Consequently, I hired her again. People gushing blood- come to me! I will hire you!
She let me know that court went well. I mean, the end result was what I wanted. Full custody, no visitation. But the judge, apparently not so interested in "the law" was angry I moved out of state, angry I wasn't in court, and was totally fine with Gumball's dad just totally abandoning her. I heard this and became sick with anger. It's a good thing my appearance was waived. I'm a crier, and just hearing about court made me tear up. I would have been red-faced and sobbing, out of rage, grief and impotency. Impotency- over not being able to smite the judge, and Gumball's dad. I imagine something totally biblical. Lightening, plagues, you know? Smiting.
Anyhow, its over. Mostly. I still need to get the lawyer to return to court to change Gumball's last name. No way is she keeping her dad's last name. Thank god I didn't change mine when we got married. He was mad I wouldn't. But after 35 years of having the same last name, I just couldn't change it. Not for my first husband, not for the second, not for anyone, ever.
I won't be able to fully relax until I have the actual divorce papers in my hot, sweaty, little hand. But this is a good start.
She let me know that court went well. I mean, the end result was what I wanted. Full custody, no visitation. But the judge, apparently not so interested in "the law" was angry I moved out of state, angry I wasn't in court, and was totally fine with Gumball's dad just totally abandoning her. I heard this and became sick with anger. It's a good thing my appearance was waived. I'm a crier, and just hearing about court made me tear up. I would have been red-faced and sobbing, out of rage, grief and impotency. Impotency- over not being able to smite the judge, and Gumball's dad. I imagine something totally biblical. Lightening, plagues, you know? Smiting.
Anyhow, its over. Mostly. I still need to get the lawyer to return to court to change Gumball's last name. No way is she keeping her dad's last name. Thank god I didn't change mine when we got married. He was mad I wouldn't. But after 35 years of having the same last name, I just couldn't change it. Not for my first husband, not for the second, not for anyone, ever.
I won't be able to fully relax until I have the actual divorce papers in my hot, sweaty, little hand. But this is a good start.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Divorce
Today I could be divorced. Again.
My first divorce, five or so years ago, was a really sad event. We were great friends but no longer great spouses. Even so, it was sad to break up. After we went to court, we had lunch together. And even though we're no longer married, we still care deeply for each other and stay in regular contact. When Gumball was little, I called him a couple of times to get him to sing to her over the phone.
Today my lawyer represented me in court. I had my appearance waived, so I don't know if I'm actually divorced or not yet. This divorce is sad too, but in a different way.
Gumball and I went to the community pool today with some friends and their babies. I was there but my heart was elsewhere. Who would have thought I'd be 36 and twice divorced? I see all these happy seeming families and I wonder how I messed this up so badly.
Oh well. Nothing I can do about that now.
I will end on an upbeat note. Last night I had a glass of wine, because I was so nervous about today, and have been having an awful time sleeping. Not sleeping, I mean. So I had a glass of wine. And wrote my friend and near-neighbor an email. About baby shoes. This morning I got this reply: "Are you drunk? That message was chock-full of 'lols'." I snickered for quite some time.
My first divorce, five or so years ago, was a really sad event. We were great friends but no longer great spouses. Even so, it was sad to break up. After we went to court, we had lunch together. And even though we're no longer married, we still care deeply for each other and stay in regular contact. When Gumball was little, I called him a couple of times to get him to sing to her over the phone.
Today my lawyer represented me in court. I had my appearance waived, so I don't know if I'm actually divorced or not yet. This divorce is sad too, but in a different way.
Gumball and I went to the community pool today with some friends and their babies. I was there but my heart was elsewhere. Who would have thought I'd be 36 and twice divorced? I see all these happy seeming families and I wonder how I messed this up so badly.
Oh well. Nothing I can do about that now.
I will end on an upbeat note. Last night I had a glass of wine, because I was so nervous about today, and have been having an awful time sleeping. Not sleeping, I mean. So I had a glass of wine. And wrote my friend and near-neighbor an email. About baby shoes. This morning I got this reply: "Are you drunk? That message was chock-full of 'lols'." I snickered for quite some time.
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