Summer and Sundry

I was feeling verbally constipated, until I realized that my "all important" words only matter to me, ultimately. I can bluster and bitch, but I'm the only one who lives these words. And I'm not ashamed. I am doing the best I can, and I feel like I'm even learning to occasionally choose the easy path over the moral highroad.

That's a funny lesson to learn, right? Occasionally, I think I make things harder for myself than need be. I want to be as kind, and moral as possible. But goddamn, sometimes even I need a break. And that's ok. I want to be moral, but I also want to be happy.

It's been a busy spring and summer. Little Gumball and I took our first trip alone. Needless to say, our second flight, alone, together, was canceled. We hung out in an airport for 10 hours. More or less. Gumball was a champion. Patient, happy, and adorable. People stopped me to tell me how wonderfully behaved she was. We arrived in Raleigh at 8pm, went out to dinner, and traveled to Duck, Outer Banks. We had an amazing week of beach, wild horses, delicious food, and dolphins. Gumball was an amazing travel companion. And I got to do karaoke for the first time. I sang "Like a Prayer" and it was amazing.

And if I can ever figure out how to join Google Plus, without using my real name, I'll upload the video.

I also got to spend 2 days with my former stepsons. I was overjoyed to see them, and Gumball was enchanted with her half brothers. No one made a big deal about their relationship, or the past. I didn't want to cause the boys one second of discomfort, and I wanted everything to be light and fun. I felt my heart soar, break, and then rebreak when I saw them. I was incredibly happy to get to spend time with them. And incredibly sad to know that I may never get the chance to see them again. Honestly, it's too painful for me to think about, or write about. I miss those boys so much. Letting them go, again, made me feel approximately 500 years old. And there's nothing I can do about it. 

Then we came home, played with our friends, and went on a trip to Santa's Village with some of our best girls. We played on rides, splashed in the water, and refused to sit with Santa. The grownup girls enjoyed wine and cheese in the parking lot every night. It was a terrific trip, and the White Mountains of NH are just spectacular.

And it's summer. The condo association opened a pool. Warm weather is glorious. We're happy and healthy, and Gumball is doing well with her potty training.

Life is good. 

Sunny Days

Now that the weather is beautiful, Gumball and I have been going everywhere and doing everything.

• We went to the lake, where Gumball got to splash in the waves, eat a grape popsicle, and nap in the car.

• We played, alone and with friends, at our water table. Gumball LOVES it. Monkey loves it less, as he is often the unsuspecting victim of multiple "kabushkas" (the sound we make when dumping water on someone's head.)

• Her love of the water isn't limited to the water table, however. Bath time is also a lot of fun!

• We also went with our friends to Santa's Village. It was a really fun trip, and Gumball and her friends got to go on the slowest, safest rides on earth, pet (or shake with terror over) reindeer, visit a petting zoo (goats!), and play in the pool.  

• Gumball is also a huge fan of the park. She occasionally goes into the "big girl swing" and I spend the entire time pushing her reminding her to "hold on with your hands." She likes to swing and sing, which is adorable. 

And being silly. Gumball is quite a ham.