I Am:

- Tired

- Sick

- Tired of being sick

- Sick of being tired

- Pessimistic

- Proud I finished a session of Zumba and signed up for a second session

- Just as fat as I was prior to taking a Zumba class

- Avoiding my blog bc I want to but feel very sad about having to write another entry about a friend who died. (No, he didn't die this week, but when I wrote about Ray, I realized I also needed to write about Henry too. Men are dropping like flies.)

- Sad

- Realizing that I won't have a date before my birthday

- Worried. I wake up at night worrying about everything

- Reading Young Adult fiction like a fiend. (Loved Hunger Games trilogy, really enjoyed Graceling and Fire, Liking Uglies.)



In a terrible state of snittiness and irritation and self-pity. I'm lonely. I want to be able to order take out (WTF Northern VT. No fucking delivery.)

Gumball isn't napping well at all, and spent about a week waking up once a night. But she's walking all over, like a tiny, drunk midget. She's so much happier now that she can walk. A complete delight. She walks and talks, like a real person! I love her so much, and despite my generally pissy mood, I am completely charmed and in love with her. She is in love with her baby dolls (Dada, and little Dada) and kitty. She already has a wicked sense of humor. Last night I was putting her into her crib- kissing her and telling her how much I love her. And she pushed away from me and said, "bye." I was dismissed.