Another Day

The way my life is going, I'm kind of afraid to write another sad entry, for fear that my sadness will become an overwhelming black hole and devour me, and everyone else up.

The world lost a wonderful man yesterday. My former neighbor. He had successfully defeated cancer, to be wiped out by a sudden blood infection. He was strong, vibrant, and probably arguing with the last breath in his lungs.

This was his profile photo on Facebook. Yes, this 80 year-old had a Facebook account. And an iPhone. My favorite photo of Ray is one that he took. It's of his wife, and grandson, and Jack Nicholas. Yup. When they met (at his grandson's high school graduation in California,) Ray went on and on about how he hates the Lakers. Because he knew Jack was a fan. Just to get under his skin a little. Hilarious.

Ray and I were neighbors for 10 years. We met and became friends because of the incompetent mailman. I kept getting his mail, and he got mine. We complained. Ray loved a good bitch session. Then I met his wife, and his kids, and his grandkids. He was family to me, and he treated me like a daughter. He mowed my lawn in summer, shoveled my paths in winter, drove me to the airport and bus station at the crack of dawn and the middle of the night. We went to restaurants together: Clam Box was his favorite. He even tried to give advice when Gumball wouldn't sleep. When I was insane and terrified to be alone, he went out and bought new locks and changed them at night, so I didn't have to be afraid about Gumball's dad returning. He helped me, listened to me cry, and included me in his family.

He was the sort of man that just doesn't exist any more. A hardass. Completely stubborn in his views, calling all and sundry "assholes" for not agreeing with him. But all the while, defending civil rights for gays and (remember his age) people of other races. He was raised by foster parents, went into the navy, and never got help or love from anyone, when he was a kid. But he worked hard, and made a good life for himself and his family.

I'm blessed to have known such a thoughtful, generous, loving person.

This has been a bad fucking year. I hate cancer.