Divorce

Today I could be divorced. Again.

My first divorce, five or so years ago, was a really sad event. We were great friends but no longer great spouses. Even so, it was sad to break up. After we went to court, we had lunch together. And even though we're no longer married, we still care deeply for each other and stay in regular contact. When Gumball was little, I called him a couple of times to get him to sing to her over the phone.

Today my lawyer represented me in court. I had my appearance waived, so I don't know if I'm actually divorced or not yet. This divorce is sad too, but in a different way.

Gumball and I went to the community pool today with some friends and their babies. I was there but my heart was elsewhere. Who would have thought I'd be 36 and twice divorced? I see all these happy seeming families and I wonder how I messed this up so badly.

Oh well. Nothing I can do about that now.

I will end on an upbeat note. Last night I had a glass of wine, because I was so nervous about today, and have been having an awful time sleeping. Not sleeping, I mean. So I had a glass of wine. And wrote my friend and near-neighbor an email. About baby shoes. This morning I got this reply: "Are you drunk? That message was chock-full of 'lols'." I snickered for quite some time.