Haiku

Tender budding hopes...
Over. Then I stepped in poop.
Self-pity reigns, hard.

I've never been good at the haiku. Or dating.

He drove three and a half hours in a terrible snowstorm to break up with me in person. He said that his was going to have to spend more time caring for his dad, whose Alzheimer's is rapidly progressing, and that he feels stretched too thin. Too thin to be in a relationship with me.

Then, I negotiated. I told him that I would happily accept less. I would, from him.

Let's just stop. For one second. He broke up with me and I negotiated. Let that shit sink in.

Pathetic.

This guy is so sweet, so tender, and thoughtful. I will truly miss him.

I keep thinking several things. How much I miss him, and how I'm never going to see, or hear from him again. How if he cared for me with the depth and intensity that I cared for him, then he would have tried to make things work. And how much I fucking miss him.