Gratitude

I've noticed many friends on Facebook posting daily gratitude status updates. Which, ordinarily, would be something that I would mock. Not so gently. Posting a daily status update about how lucky I am, and how awesome my life is, is just not my thing.

I have a lot to be grateful for this year, however.

It may not be a daily status update, but in honor of November, I am going to write 30 things/people/experiences that I am grateful for, in no particular order.

1. I am grateful for my little Gumball's dad. I still kind of want him to choke on a grape, but I recognize that without him, I would not have my precious baby. I am profoundly grateful for the good we experienced in our relationship, and for the gift he gave me in allowing me to have sole, uncontested custody of our child.

2. I am grateful for my mom. She saved my life when I thought I would never be happy again. She pushes me, challenges me, annoys me, and helps me constantly. The love I have for my mom and my daughter are the deepest, strongest loves anyone could ever experience.

3. I am grateful for my daughter. My sweet, tender, beautiful, smart, challenging, Gumball. I would do anything to protect her, and would gladly lay down my life to save hers. She is so sweet and loving, and I look forward to our future together.

A Gumball anecdote. She doesn't want to nap these days. I put her in her crib, and she plays. Sometimes for up to 2 hours. Then she starts whining. When she whines, I either bring her into bed with me, or just get her up, and forgo nap. Today, I brought her into bed with me. I cuddled with her for a few moments, and tried to encourage her to sleep by pretending to sleep. It didn't work. But she took the opportunity to gently stroke my face, and kiss me. It was incredibly sweet. Then she started licking my cheek, and I had to roll over. She then curled up against my back, and fell asleep. The sweetness of these moments makes my heart ache. Minus the cheek licking. Ick.

4. I am grateful for the heated seats in my awesome car.

5. I am grateful for my friends. The old friends, like Steph, Court, Sherl, Moon, Lori, Jeannie, Donna, and Miguel- who all managed to visit me in my new, remote home. Visits make my house feel like my own. Jen and Kirsten, who are so good at staying in touch, and who fill me with love, gossip, and delicious snack ideas.

And my new friends. Dia, who isn't new, Abbey, Emilie, and Clarina. They rebuilt me. With them, I experience joy. We laugh, eat, gossip, and parent. The support and love they give me has literally renewed my faith in people. They are so kind, irreverent, and generous. They make my unexpected and shame-filled return to VT worthwhile.

6. I am grateful to be able to stay home with my Gumball for so long, and not agonize about money.

7. I am grateful for the family that rents my unsellable house in MA. I never worry about my house with them living there.

8. I am grateful for my favorite foods and the ability to cook them.

9. I am grateful Obama was reelected.

10. I am grateful for my former mother in law. Gumball's paternal grandmother. She has been consistently present and positive in Gumball's life, which means the world to me. I love her dearly, and am especially grateful that she told me that Gumball's dad is now super fat. Yay!

11. I'm grateful November doesn't have 31 days.

12. I'm grateful for my loving kitty, Pumpkin. He has the patience of a saint with Gumball, and allows her to drape him with necklaces and blankets constantly.

13. I'm grateful for my own strength, resilience, and capacity to love and be happy again.

14. I'm grateful for warm slippers.

15. I'm grateful for frivolous interests, like nail polish.

16. I am grateful for my general good health. For my strong body.

17. I am profoundly grateful for every morning I wake up, and get to experience my life.

18. I am grateful for the new friends I have yet to meet, and the old friends who are no longer active in my life.

19. I am grateful for passion, love, sex, and dirty talk.

20. I am grateful for crusty bread and soft cheeses.

21. I am grateful for the many people who reached out to me when I was at my lowest: Kim, Meredith, Jen, Lori, Jeannie, Dia... and others. I am profoundly grateful to them.

(Is it sad that I think 21 may be the limit of my gratitude?)



Yeah, I'm done. For now anyhow.