And Yet Further Bullshit

Sorry for the prolonged absence. I've been busy. Cooking a lot, including this:
BLT Brisket, and this
Buffalo Chicken Cupcakes, and this
Thai Green Papaya Salad, and this
Buttermilk Roast Chicken, and this
Senate Bean Soup.

All successes, all with minor and major changes.

Poor little Gumball has been sick. At first, I thought it was teething. She appears to be getting all four canines right now. Before any molars. Drooling, in pain, miserable. Crying, tantrum-ing, and being a total pill. I've been reading to her for up to 2 hours a day. There are certain books that I pretty much want to burn at this point. Being read to soothes her, so I'm happy to do it for my poor sick chickadee.

Man, I am trying so hard to stay positive. Really hard. I bought a plane ticket to Chicago for my dear friend's baby shower. Yay! Scared, and not totally sure if I'll actually make it, but trying hard. And despite my apparently limitless jealousy, I am so thrilled for my other friend, who is newly pregnant.

If I had written this post yesterday, I would have said how disappointed I am about online dating. I have put myself out there. I've contacted probably 50 people. I read their profiles, find things we have in common, and concoct some sort of comments and questions. I think I've heard back from maybe 6 people. Total. Only 3 were actually interested in exchanging messages with me. The other 3 were writing to say "not interested." I have also received messages from several couples looking for a third (god no), 5 or 6 old old old men, and 2 "holy shit that's young" young men. W. T. F.

Anyhow, that was yesterday. Today, I really don't care anymore. I'm not ready to talk about it (per usual, I'd probably just cry) but I got some very, very bad news today. Not about my health, or Gumball's health, but something so heart sinkingly terrible and terrifying that I feel paralyzed. Scary stuff, this "being an adult" crap.