Re-entry: Taking it One Stupid Question at a Time

A. What are your favorite smells?
B. Can you go a whole day without caffeine?
C. Who knows more about you than anyone else?
D. What song did you last listen to?
E. Do you have a crush on anybody?
F. Do you like The Beatles?
G. If you could choose one color to wear for a whole year, what color would you choose?
H. Do you cook often?
I. What was the last film you watched? Did you like it?
J. Can you sew?
K. What is your favorite fruit?
L. Are you health conscious?
M. Go do the Kinsey scale test, what number result did you receive?
N. Do you curse a lot?
O. When was the last time you had a pint of beer?
P. Are you pro life or pro choice?
Q. Is there a certain food you often crave for no reason?
R. What was the last book you purchased?
S. Where was your last vacation?
T. Do you shave your pits?
U. Did you ever play seven minutes in heaven?
V. Girls, when was the last time you went out without a bra?
W. Guys, when was the last time you went shirtless in public?
X. Have you ever broken a bone? If so, how did it happen?
Y. How do you like your eggs?
Z. What was your last argument about and who with?


A friend reminded me that I haven't been writing much. It's good to be missed, and I needed the reminder. She said something about answering questions, and that sounded like an easy way to get my mind back into writing. So here I am.

Summer is always busy for me. I have this irrepressible urge, that all Northerners know, to spend every sunny moment outside. If it's warm, and sunny, I'm probably near water. As naked as public standards allow, glistening with sunscreen and (probably) bacon fat, and chasing my half naked kid around, holding her bathing suit bottoms and screaming, "Gumball, STOP! Mama said stop!"

Kid, summer, trips, friends, dates, gardening, and cooking. It's been a joyous summer.

A. My favorite smells: my daughter's head, freshly mowed grass, the ocean, and Marc Jacob's Lola.

B. Caffeine: I regularly go entire days with no caffeine. I like coffee, but caffeine doesn't like me to sleep. As it turns out, I am very sensitive to caffeine. Give me a delicious iced coffee (double skim, 1/2 decaf) and I'm the life of the goddamned party. As long as you like sweaty fools.

C. Who knows me the best: I'm an open book. I don't feel a lot of shame about my choices. I try to live with a clear conscience and clear heart. I think quite a few people know me very well, but my mom knows me the best.

D. I last listened to "Dancing Queen" by Abba, bc I'm trying to load CDs into iTunes as I write.

E. Do I have a crush on anybody? For fucks sake. I'm 38. I have crushes on everybody!

F. I prefer the Stones to the Beatles.

G. If I had to wear one color for a year, it would be black. Simply bc it would be very hard to match colors. Non matching colors drive me crazy. Plus- I'd always look more dressed up than anyone else.

H. Do I cook often? Yes. Constantly. I love cooking. It's one of the ways I express myself.

I. The last film I watched was "World's End." I loved it. It's hysterical and dark and sweet.

J. Can I sew? Depends on your definition of "sew." I bought a bunch of fabric this summer, and planned on sewing lots of skirts. Maybe I'll make fall skirts.

K. My favorite fruit is mango. Followed by nectarines, strawberries, blueberries, and cantaloupe. I hate pears. Gross!Who enjoys a fruit with sand built-in?

L. Am I health conscious? Yes. Surprisingly health conscious for a fat person. I eat very well, and exercise regularly.

M. I think I'm pretty much in the middle of the Kinsey scale. I've answered questions before that indicated as much. Right now, I find myself more attracted to men. I sort of think it has to do with a couple of things though, none of which have to do with my sexuality. I'm not looking for a father for my Gumball, but I wish she had one. I think that affects who I'm attracted to.

N. Do I curse a lot? Depends on your definition of "a lot." I love cursing. The other day, a friend posted  a meme on my wall in Facebook that said, "After four drinks I start using "fuck" like a coma." I think that's pretty appropriate.

O. The last beer I had was the night before last. Pumpkin Spice.

P. I am adamantly pro-choice. That way, we are all allowed to have our own opinions and make appropriate choices concerning our own health care needs. Choice. I'm also unapologetically feminist through and through. 

Q. I crave all fatty, salty foods. All the time.

R. The last book I purchased was "Broken Harbor" by Tana French. I love her so much.

S. My last vacation, about 2 weeks ago, was a 3 night, 4 day trip to York, Maine with my dear friend and our kids. We ate 16 lobsters in 4 days and I gained back 4 lbs.

T. Yes.

U. No.

V. Not recently. Post breastfeeding, my nipples could cut through glass and need to be contained. Plus, I love lacy, fancy bras.

W. N/A

X. When I was 14, I broke my little toe by kicking a dresser while wrestling with a friend. Epitome of dumb.

Y. Over medium.

Z. My last argument was with the sweet-smelling, beautiful boy I used to spend time with. I was rude about music he likes, and then compared him to an Avril Lavigne song. Burn...