I'm obsessed with seaweed snacks. Cool, right? Great way to be on my diet, right? WRONG! I like to use them to wrap up and devour little nuggets of avocado. Delicious! Funny enough, little Gumball loves seaweed. Weirdo.
I'm also obsessed with fruit smoothies. Particularly frozen strawberries, frozen blueberries, skim milk... and honey. Lots of honey. Delicious. Gumball doesn't care for this snack so much, as it turns out.
In other news, I have extreme winter-related fatigue. I want to walk outside without my nose freezing and dripping. I want to slip on flip flops and go- no coats, no boots, no preparation at all. I'm tired of negotiating, bribing, and threatening my kid into warm clothing. I'm ready for spring. Not the twelve inches of snow that are expected tomorrow. Ick.
I miss my guy. I haven't heard a peep from him, and my friends have insisted that I give him the space to come back to me, if he wants to. I am listening to them, but dear lord, it is hard. I keep thinking of what I want to say to him. I want to tell him that as much as I understand and respect his reasons for not wanting to be in a relationship, especially since his family responsibilities are quite heavy, and bound to become even more so, that there is never going to be a better time than now. What I mean is, that life never clears up. The burden never gets lighter, you just get used to what you have to carry. You get stronger. Life never stops, and if he wants to be in a relationship, then he needs to figure out how to fit it into his life. And I am right here, caring about him, wanting him, and wanting to see if we could try this together.
The obvious answer to my plea, is that he just doesn't want a relationship with me. Obvious, sparklingly clear.
So I just wait. And stay mute, hoping he'll call or write. Being the best mom I can be, trying to be a good friend too, and feeling like my entire life is made of faded colors and shadows. I miss him, and I miss how he made me feel.
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