I am behind. Christmas threw me for a loop, with the incessant singing of Christmas carols and making merry. I was overjoyed to be celebrating with my loved ones, thrilled to have a full house, and feeling the giddy, euphoric, terrifying stirrings of real, true, deep... "romantic feelings."
(Please note: not love. Romantic feelings. NOT love. I refuse to allow myself to go that far. But... romantic feelings that I could not repress, that were spilling out of my mouth, and seeping from my pores.)
Two weeks ago, I thought about writing about how happy I was. Gumball has been incredibly sweet, and delightful. Funny, precious, charming, and kind of insane. My romance was going really well. I felt special, valued, and brimming over with feelings.
Since then, he's become distant. No explanation.
There's no more bubbling euphoria.
I'll give this gentle, passionate, humble, but masterful man some time to get his head out of his ass. It's hard to wait, not knowing if he's just done with me, or if he's dealing with his own issues and needs time. I'm just feeling a little sad, and deflated. Am I always going to be alone?
To end on a positive note, I've now lost 16 pounds since starting my diet. My goal is to lose 25 more, and exchange the label "obese" for simply "large."
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