Sunny Days

Now that the weather is beautiful, Gumball and I have been going everywhere and doing everything.

• We went to the lake, where Gumball got to splash in the waves, eat a grape popsicle, and nap in the car.

• We played, alone and with friends, at our water table. Gumball LOVES it. Monkey loves it less, as he is often the unsuspecting victim of multiple "kabushkas" (the sound we make when dumping water on someone's head.)

• Her love of the water isn't limited to the water table, however. Bath time is also a lot of fun!

• We also went with our friends to Santa's Village. It was a really fun trip, and Gumball and her friends got to go on the slowest, safest rides on earth, pet (or shake with terror over) reindeer, visit a petting zoo (goats!), and play in the pool.  

• Gumball is also a huge fan of the park. She occasionally goes into the "big girl swing" and I spend the entire time pushing her reminding her to "hold on with your hands." She likes to swing and sing, which is adorable. 

And being silly. Gumball is quite a ham.

Inevitably

As soon as I find a regular and wonderful pattern in Gumball's sleeping, it changes. All of a sudden, she hates sleeping again. Why Gumball, WHY????

Fortunately, she is happy to play in the dark, in her crib. While I fret.

Everything the Same; Everything Different

Gumball has been sleeping wonderfully. Long naps (2+ hours!) and 8pm- 8am overnights. She's a delight to be around: happy, energetic, loving, and hilarious. She wants to joke and jump. Pet the cat, go outside, play in the water, and eat "raspberries" (any berry, especially blueberries from the 2 trees Nana gave me for Mother's Day. Hand over fist.)

She talks so much. Non-stop sentences. Some words she doesn't pronounce perfectly. Like:

Carrot- cadet
Yogurt- yogunk
Naked- nakey (I taught her this one).

And I also call her butt, her buns. It's too cute to me. 

I can't begin to say how much reasonable amounts of sleep make me a happier person.

That, and having the unbelievable luck to be dating someone who interests, intrigues, and delights me. E is lovely. Sweet, quiet, reserved, and honest. I introduced her to Gumball. Decided that I was over-thinking things. I introduce Gumball to all my friends, why not my "special" friend? It's not like I introduced her as "Gumball's new mama." Fuck no. We met for lunch. Simple. Then, I had E. stay over. I don't know if this was the right way to do things or not. I don't know. My mom thinks having E. stay over means that I'm moving things too fast. I don't know. I only see her on the weekends, and she's met my important friends here. I'm scared and hopeful. I hope I'm doing the right thing for me, and for my little baby Gumball. And for E.

After so much pain, disappointment, and heartbreak, it amazes me that my heart can feel anything anymore. I am bursting with hope, and lust, and longing. I think staying over on weekends isn't too much too soon either. I am still so scared, and cautious. I don't want to make the same terrible mistakes again; I'm pretty sure my heart can't survive another heartbreak.